A Likely Lass

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Archive for the tag “hotness”

Emotions with Jon Hamm

Jon Hamm is one of my favorite actors. This is primarily due to the fact that he is a handsome beast, but also because he can actually emote – not the blank stare that passes for emotion in Hollywood these days. When I stumbled upon the blog “Emotions with Jon Hamm“, I was way excited. Possibly too excited. Yea, I may have squee’d like a fangirl. Maybe.

The blog’s description says it all: “One day, Jon Hamm realized that he is the best human in the universe in the having a face department, so he decided to bless us all by becoming an actor. Emotions With Jon Hamm is a celebration of his craft.”

Here’s a brief sample:

 

PUPPIES!

 

How can you not love this ridiculousness?

That's Betty White and Jon Hamm. It's a wonder the room didn't explode with the awesomeness contained in it.

Nice job, Hamm. Nice job.


Go check it out. It will make your day. Or several days, perhaps, all at once.

-all images courtesy of Emotions with Jon Hamm.

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No love handles, no love

I was at the grocery store the other day, getting the weekly groceries. I was standing in line behind three guys who looked like they were in their early twenties. I was paging through a magazine, not really paying any attention, when I noticed one of the guys wearing a “No Fat Chicks” shirt. I think I kind of frowned, but had turned back to the magazine when I heard him say something.

“Excuse me?” I said.

“You know you want it,” he said, apparently incredibly full of himself, stroking his chest and grinning at me.

I feel though I may have raised an eyebrow, but I’m not sure. I did say, calmly, “I’d rather light my face on fire.”

Apparently his friends found this funny. So funny the guy ended up walking out of the store, pretending he had to make a phone call to his girlfriend.

I understand that a lot of people buy into the whole perfectly-thin thing, six-pack, can’t-eat-any-carbs, must-be-super-fit mentality. It’s an aesthetic. But it’s not the only aesthetic.

Frankly, I think I should get a shirt that says “No Skinny Guys.” Despite it being tacky, I don’t see why I shouldn’t proclaim my preference where everyone can see (well, I do know, and it’s that thing called tact, but who cares about that anymore?). Maybe “No Love Handles, No Love.” I come by that preference honestly, too – I like some fluff. I don’t care what Kevin Smith looks like in a bathrobe, I could just eat him with a spoon. Adam Richman on Man Vs. Food? Yum. I tell you, there are just not enough slightly-fluffy-yet-masculine men on television. They all eventually go the way of curvy actresses: super-exercise, the excuse of “the perpetual flu”, then it’s Trimspa and a downward spiral from there until you end up unrecognizable, with multiple plastic surgeries and having your own “reality show” that gets cancelled after two episodes air.

As my Hungarian grandmother said, “If you have a bit of fluff, all it says is that you enjoy your steak with dessert.” And if you knew what kind of dessert my Hungarian grandmother could make, you’d eat it too.

Saga of the Liver Treat

As you might be aware, I started the dogs on a home-made diet about a week ago. I’ve been talking about it forever, and decided it was time to put my money where my mouth was. I also skipped my normal Bil Jac liver treat run and instead made my own.

This is what the recipe has in it: chicken livers, flour, cornmeal, garlic powder (small sprinkle). Bake. It seemed simple enough.

But instead of sedately chopping the livers in a Martha-Stewart haze of perfect serenity, I had to puree them.

Yes. Pureed chicken livers.

This is how it went down. Please note that if you are eating and/or squeamish, this part is gross. Skip it.

Dogs: *circling*
Me: *stares at recipe, empties container of chicken livers into blender*
Dogs: *waiting expectantly*
Me: *presses pulse*
Chicken Livers: ARRRRGHGHGHHHBLAAHHH!!!
Me: HOLY F*CKING CHRIST!
Chicken Livers: BLARARRRRRARARRRGHGHHH!!!
Dogs: BARK BARK BARK!
Chicken Livers: *bloody mess*
Me: *faint*

I really did not expect the chicken livers to… like… well, I didn’t expect them to become like a blood smoothie. Y’know all those books that are like “And the vampires drank lots of blood in pretty cups!” and “She nonchalantly poured a glass of blood”? I BET THERE WAS NO NONCHALANTNESS ABOUT IT. Just having this … this blender full of a bloody mass was actually kind of disturbing. And the fact that I’d left the little centre part out of the blender made ALL the difference, let me tell you, because I got pureed liver splattered on the cupboards.

Naturally, M chose that moment to come home.

This is what actually happened:
Me: *smiles reassuringly* Hi!
Dogs: *don’t move but wag tails*

This is what M saw:
Me: *holding a container of blood, with blood splattered all over the cupboards, grinning maniacally* HI HONEY I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE HOME
Dogs: *drooling menacingly*

M: What are you doing?
Me: Making liver treats for Bean’s class. Sorry about the mess, I forgot about the little thing in the center of the blender.
M: What… kind of liver are you using?
Me: Chicken liver, why?
M: OH. Just checking.

When I went to look in the mirror after finally popping the liver-biscuits in the oven, I realized that I also had bloody liver flecks all over my cheek. It was a sight for sore eyes, I am quite positive.

Vlad Putin: with only *some* sarcasm

You know that commercial for Dos Equis beer, with the “Most Interesting Man In The World”?

Vladimir Putin is that guy. Not only does he single handedly save a Russian film crew from furry orange death, but now he’s helping save polar bears from certain extinction.


“No cry, Bear, as soon as we get large transmitter around your neck
you will be free to wander Arctic again. It will be O.K., Vlad vill
take care of you.”
 

Here is a brief excerpt from Vlad’s cavorting with bears:
“As the sleeping beast lay before him, Mr Putin shook its paw and said: “Be well.” He added: “The paw is heavy. This is the master of the Arctic, you can feel that straight away.”

Not only does he help save endangered species (note: he didn’t kill the tiger with his KGB-fu, he tranquilized it), but models fight to the death to win his affections. Well, okay, they just embarassed his political detractors, but still. When was the last time you had a bevy of women voluntarily entrap your enemies and expose their ‘cocaine habits’ to the world just for your love?


I can see why they would… 

The man is a judo black-belt, with the ‘rippling arm muscles’ to prove it. His holiday card doesn’t include his wife and kids standing in a Swiss chalet with charming wool sweaters, they show him, riding barechested on a horse in the mountains. 


“Good horsey…” [flex]
One of these creatures is 57 years old,
and not in horse years. Which one is it???
 

You cannot tell me that this particular holiday photo will not be treasured by the horde of hot models that adore him. Especially if signed, “влюбленность (love), Vlad.” 

So when he isn’t riding forth half-naked or saving endangered species, he’s making politically important and lasting decisions that are said to mostly positively impact the Russian people. At least, if the 71% of Russians that voted for him to enter a second term can be believed. I firmly believe that if President Obama bared his chest for Christmas photos and maybe saved some tourists from a rabid grizzly bear while being half-naked on a trip to save the rare diamond-patterned trout of Montana, he’d probably enjoy the same approval rating. Probably, if he was ex-CIA-director and could call forth his former minions with a bushy eyebrow quirk, he’d get more accomplished in Congress too.

But alas, there is only one Putin, as far as I know, and I salute him in all his barechested, politically aggressive glory. Dos Equis, take note: you don’t have to use some nameless actor as your “most interesting man”. Just ring up Vlad and ask him to bring a few of his fans with him. You’d shortly have more bare-chested Russian glory than you could throw a glass of vodka at.

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