A Likely Lass

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Archive for the tag “awesome”

Emotions with Jon Hamm

Jon Hamm is one of my favorite actors. This is primarily due to the fact that he is a handsome beast, but also because he can actually emote – not the blank stare that passes for emotion in Hollywood these days. When I stumbled upon the blog “Emotions with Jon Hamm“, I was way excited. Possibly too excited. Yea, I may have squee’d like a fangirl. Maybe.

The blog’s description says it all: “One day, Jon Hamm realized that he is the best human in the universe in the having a face department, so he decided to bless us all by becoming an actor. Emotions With Jon Hamm is a celebration of his craft.”

Here’s a brief sample:

 

PUPPIES!

 

How can you not love this ridiculousness?

That's Betty White and Jon Hamm. It's a wonder the room didn't explode with the awesomeness contained in it.

Nice job, Hamm. Nice job.


Go check it out. It will make your day. Or several days, perhaps, all at once.

-all images courtesy of Emotions with Jon Hamm.

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Army of Lovers – Crucified

If I had a billion dollars, this is what would happen when I wake up in the morning: tiny pianos, Italian women, spontaneous bathtubs, dancing and singing. The only change would be substantially less patent leather codpieces. Yes.

The Shoes

For over a year now, I have looked for the perfect red siletto heel. They have to be a darker red, preferably patent leather (because why get red stiletto heels if you can’t have patent leather?). My favorite lipstick is a few shades darker than a bright red, though still bright, and I wanted to match. They had to be comfortable and – the disqualification I’d often encountered – less than $40. So far, my quest turned up nothing. Either I’d find the right thing, but they were too expensive. Or I’d find another pair I liked – but they were too chunky, or the wrong color, or they had a weird strap. I really loved a Candies pair I found online, but at $80, they were out of my price range. It was like a bad crush: you really really wanted them but then they would go and do something so stupid that you swore them off forever… and then forgot about swearing them off and went back, trying like hell to get their attention, for a few months, until you fail again.

UNTIL NOW.

For my eyes lit upon the PERFECT, unadorned, un-strappy, dark red patent leather stiletto heels. IN MY SIZE. ON THE CLEARANCE RACK.

I held my breath as I picked them up. Seriously, people, this was like my Unicorn quest. You have to act slowly and deliberately or you will scare them away. I picked up the box and set it gingerly next to me. I checked both shoes – they were the same size. I slid them on. They were a perfect fit. I walked in them – high, but definitely doable. Feeling that SOMETHING had to be up, I looked at the side of the box, sure that they would be still-unattainable. They were The Candies Shoes, after all. There had to be a catch. Erroneously being on the clearance rack, for example.

Marked down from $80, they were $17.

I swear, I snapped them up faster than Angelina Jolie snaps up orphans. You get a little shoe-jealousy, too, when you make such a find, as this lady behind me was craning her neck and staring at The Shoes. “Ooo, Gerta!” she crowed, “Lookit these!”

But I wasn’t sharing The Shoes. I picked up my jacket and The Shoes, quelled my inner Gollum, and went as fast as I could to the register. Ten minutes later, The Shoes are MINE.

I'm not sure what these shoes were made for, but it sure as hell isn't walking.

Rally for Sanity And/Or Fear

THIS IS AMERICA!! Don’t be afraid, evidently overwhelming numbers of us are actually quite friendly, reasonable and enjoy dressing in costume.

Sam and Bean

Bean:

You have to hold the treat above the camera
so she’ll let you take a picture of her.

The new couch is met with approval:

Sam before Bean:

Sam after Bean:

Vlad Putin: with only *some* sarcasm

You know that commercial for Dos Equis beer, with the “Most Interesting Man In The World”?

Vladimir Putin is that guy. Not only does he single handedly save a Russian film crew from furry orange death, but now he’s helping save polar bears from certain extinction.


“No cry, Bear, as soon as we get large transmitter around your neck
you will be free to wander Arctic again. It will be O.K., Vlad vill
take care of you.”
 

Here is a brief excerpt from Vlad’s cavorting with bears:
“As the sleeping beast lay before him, Mr Putin shook its paw and said: “Be well.” He added: “The paw is heavy. This is the master of the Arctic, you can feel that straight away.”

Not only does he help save endangered species (note: he didn’t kill the tiger with his KGB-fu, he tranquilized it), but models fight to the death to win his affections. Well, okay, they just embarassed his political detractors, but still. When was the last time you had a bevy of women voluntarily entrap your enemies and expose their ‘cocaine habits’ to the world just for your love?


I can see why they would… 

The man is a judo black-belt, with the ‘rippling arm muscles’ to prove it. His holiday card doesn’t include his wife and kids standing in a Swiss chalet with charming wool sweaters, they show him, riding barechested on a horse in the mountains. 


“Good horsey…” [flex]
One of these creatures is 57 years old,
and not in horse years. Which one is it???
 

You cannot tell me that this particular holiday photo will not be treasured by the horde of hot models that adore him. Especially if signed, “влюбленность (love), Vlad.” 

So when he isn’t riding forth half-naked or saving endangered species, he’s making politically important and lasting decisions that are said to mostly positively impact the Russian people. At least, if the 71% of Russians that voted for him to enter a second term can be believed. I firmly believe that if President Obama bared his chest for Christmas photos and maybe saved some tourists from a rabid grizzly bear while being half-naked on a trip to save the rare diamond-patterned trout of Montana, he’d probably enjoy the same approval rating. Probably, if he was ex-CIA-director and could call forth his former minions with a bushy eyebrow quirk, he’d get more accomplished in Congress too.

But alas, there is only one Putin, as far as I know, and I salute him in all his barechested, politically aggressive glory. Dos Equis, take note: you don’t have to use some nameless actor as your “most interesting man”. Just ring up Vlad and ask him to bring a few of his fans with him. You’d shortly have more bare-chested Russian glory than you could throw a glass of vodka at.

Luray Caverns: 6/20/09

Last summer, I also took a trip to Luray Caverns in Virginia. From Wikipedia:

Luray Caverns, originally called Luray Cave, is a large, celebrated commercial cave just west of Luray, Virginia, USA, which has drawn many visitors since its discovery in 1878. The underground cavern system is generously adorned with speleothems (columns, mud flows, stalactites, stalagmites, flowstone, mirrored pools, etc). The caverns are perhaps best known for the Great Stalacpipe Organ, a lithophone made from solenoid fired strikers[citation needed] that tap stalactites of various sizes to produce tones similar to those of xylophones, tuning forks, or bells.

The gist of it: it’s a really cool (literally) cave with lots of hangy-stuff. It’s also huge.

“Dream Lake” – this part of the cave is towards the
beginning of the self-guided tour. When you see it
in person, it’s deceptive – the water is very shallow,
but you can’t see into it.

If you look, in the very bottom left-hand corner, you
can see the railing. What you can’t see is that the
walkway winds around and descends 15 feet below that.

I’d really like to know if their lighting professional
will come and light up my house like this.

Sadly, I didn’t get any good photos of the draperies (er,
stone-draperies). We were hustled through by a group of
schoolchildren. No photos of the organ, either, but I can
attest to it’s highly eerie sound. It echoes all through-
out the caves, whether you are in the area or not.

Highly popular “fried eggs” formation. I checked. It
is rock.

“Wishing Well” From Wikipedia: The Wishing Well is a
green pond with coins three feet deep at the bottom.
Like Dream Lake, the well also gives an illusion,
however it is reversed. The pond looks 3-4 feet deep
but at its deepest point it is actually 6-7 feet deep.

50 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

Atalantapendrag’s “50 Things I Am No Longer Allowed To Do At Hogwarts.

 

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.

4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.

9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defence Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

15. “Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.

16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.

17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.

18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as “bookends”.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.

20. I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with coast-to-coast am transcripts.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.

25. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell “Pwned!”.

26. I am not a sloth Animagus.

27. I am not a tribble Animagus.

28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

29. I do not weight the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

32. I will not lick Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentats in training”.

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

36. I will not change the password to the prefects’ bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.

37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as “Admiral Naismith”.

39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the evil overlord list to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

Organ Fantasy!!

Old news!

Here’s Terry Pratchett commenting on the Canadian court order forbidding customers of a book-store who got the new Harry Potter a few days early from discussing or even reading the book:

Now that the bound proof copies of _Thud!_ are out, and will no doubt be winging their way to an e-bay near you, I would like to say that ANYONE WHO READS A WORD OF IT before publication day will be MADE TO SIT IN THE CORNER and their ENTIRE COUNTRY will be given DOUBLE DETENTION until every single person SAYS SORRY!!!!!

And you just can’t get better than Richmond, VA. Further proof:

A near riot broke out when a crowd of 5,500 to 11,000 people rushed through a gate to buy used iBooks being sold by the school district for $50. Only 1,000 iBook were being sold, and people were in a rush to get to the sales counter first.

There were several minor injuries and one person was taken to a hospital with a leg injury, fire Battalion Chief Steve Wood said during a 1 p.m. news conference. In all, 17 people were treated, the majority for heat- or diabetic-related problems, he said. Thousands of Henrico County residents and/or taxpayers stood in a half-mile-long line as dawn broke while others waited in cars parked nearby or milled about not far from the entrance to RIR. One official estimate put the crowd at 5,500. Other observers estimated more than twice that.

Many had come prepared with books, snacks, umbrellas and chairs. The first car arrived at 1:30 a.m. By 6:30 vehicles were backed up on Laburnum Avenue about a half mile to Carolina Avenue.

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